5 Secret Weapons Highly Successful Mums use Daily
Updated: Feb 26, 2020
One of the most debilitating things that can happen to mothers after having children is losing their confidence and then self. Can you relate?
Heading Back to the Work-Place After Children
I know for me stepping back into the workplace was nerve wracking and I remember just speaking to one hiring manager in a light conversation, not even the interview but it had my voice shaking! I recall another interview with two hiring managers sat before me and my mouth went completely dry, so I tried to pick up a cup of water to drink and I couldn’t even bring it to my lips my hand was shaking so profusely. I actually had to put the cup down! That image has me in hysterics when I think of it now, but at the time as I am sure many of you can attest to, being stared down for all signs of body language and facial expression and almost interrogated in an interview is not always the most enjoyable things for most let alone a mother who has been off the scene for a significant amount of time!
A Mother’s Energy and Confidence When it Comes to her Career
The energy to even work on confidence is generally not present and most often than not, not thought of with intention anywhere near enough. The financial needs of the family, whether flexi-time will be possibility, working from home - will they allow it, good benefits and just landing the job tend to swim at the forefront of most mothers returning to work after having children.
But busy paddling in the large pool of thought at the back of the mind is a mothers true desire to confidently create success on her own times now she has a family.
Who you are without the title of ‘mum’, ‘mummy’, ‘mother’, can get lost in the responsibility of your new child/children. Trying to even think of this in so many cases does not happen until the children leave home which sadly is much too late. So many years have passed, so much time and opportunity gone.
Those Ugly Limiting Beliefs
And to top it off the limiting beliefs that can accompany motherhood, often are very detrimental to the future mums create.
Most mums begin to believe that…
1) The busyness and lack of balance, life with children can bring is just the way it is.
2) That it is simply going to be too hard to make any changes that stick, and so they do not try to.
But the truth is these are both completely false and very damaging belief systems.
Let’s look at it this way...
If your child failed an exam would you say oh well, you are no good at that, no use trying and even if you did it is going to be too hard for you to keep up a good grade!
You wouldn’t would you?! I am pretty sure that you would encourage your child to practice aligning with the old adage that ‘practice makes perfect’. In fact I used this just last night with my son, who was over the moon and totally brimming with confidence as he excitedly told me how he thought he was going to fail his geography exam! He explained to me his thought process that he instantly thought no I am not concentrating properly so I am going to revise again. So as I was cooking downstairs he closed his room door and proceeded to revise and test himself alone 6 times and repeat the test until he hit the 10/10 score! Not only was I super proud of him but he was so ecstatic to see the effort and practice he put in pay off.
But for some reason as mothers we often are not graceful with ourselves in the same way. And in fact from the minute new life hits so does the overwhelm and the depreciation of confidence.
The Crushing of Confidence
Where you once could crush a day and get around doing all you needed to, now it has become a struggle to get the washing done, or cross over a handful of items on a fridge checklist.
And this is what leads to the crushing of confidence as in order to feel confident you need to take action and feel competent in that area - that is what creates confidence. But if you are continually failing to keep up with commitments you make to yourself, promises, never ending checklists, guess what sets in - Under-confidence!
‘How You Do One Thing is How You Do Everything’
One thing I know is that attributes do not show up in just one area of your life they will show up everywhere else too, they just may not be so obvious. So when a mother then goes to think about returning to work instead of commanding the position she truly wants she under sells herself and won’t apply for a role or promotion that she is 70=80% qualified for. Research has shown this to be 100% accurate. Whereas our male counterparts are happy to apply roles even if they are only 50% qualified. Crazy right?
In Pursuit of More Than Just A Job...
Not only this but most mums start feeling like they would like a career change or would like to explore the possibility of pursuing a self-employed career, launching a passion and purpose driven venture. But guess what doesn’t kick in that would allow them to successfully make it happen…Yep you know it... Confidence!
The Bottom Line
There are 5 Secret Weapons all mums need to deploy to ensure they are more successful however that would look for them.
...And success is relative… to one mum it could mean being effective in her corporate career whilst successfully balancing family life and to another it could be starting a profitable business fuelled by her passion so she can have more time at home with her children.
Whichever it is, when you utilise these 5 vital weapons, success on your terms will become a complete reality.
No more staring from the sidelines at other mothers doing what they love.
No more dredding your work day.
No more feeling defeated and not good enough for days on end.