5 Secret Weapons Highly Successful Mums use Daily
Updated: Feb 26, 2020
One of the most debilitating things that can happen to mothers after having children is losing their confidence and then self. Can you relate?
Heading Back to the Work-Place After Children
I know for me stepping back into the workplace was nerve wracking and I remember just speaking to one hiring manager in a light conversation, not even the interview but it had my voice shaking! I recall another interview with two hiring managers sat before me and my mouth went completely dry, so I tried to pick up a cup of water to drink and I couldn’t even bring it to my lips my hand was shaking so profusely. I actually had to put the cup down! That image has me in hysterics when I think of it now, but at the time as I am sure many of you can attest to, being stared down for all signs of body language and facial expression and almost interrogated in an interview is not always the most enjoyable things for most let alone a mother who has been off the scene for a significant amount of time!
A Mother’s Energy and Confidence When it Comes to her Career
The energy to even work on confidence is generally not present and most often than not, not thought of with intention anywhere near enough. The financial needs of the family, whether flexi-time will be possibility, working from home - will they allow it, good benefits and just landing the job tend to swim at the forefront of most mothers returning to work after having children.
But busy paddling in the large pool of thought at the back of the mind is a mothers true desire to confidently create success on her own times now she has a family.
Who you are without the title of ‘mum’, ‘mummy’, ‘mother’, can get lost in the responsibility of your new child/children. Trying to even think of this in so many cases does not happen until the children leave home which sadly is much too late. So many years have passed, so much time and opportunity gone.
Those Ugly Limiting Beliefs
And to top it off the limiting beliefs that can accompany motherhood, often are very detrimental to the future mums create.
Most mums begin to believe that…
1) The busyness and lack of balance, life with children can bring is just the way it is.
2) That it is simply going to be too hard to make any changes that stick, and so they do not try to.
But the truth is these are both completely false and very damaging belief systems.
Let’s look at it this way...
If your child failed an exam would you say oh well, you are no good at that, no use trying and even if you did it is going to be too hard for you to keep up a good grade!
You wouldn’t would you?! I am pretty sure that you would encourage your child to practice aligning with the old adage that ‘practice makes perfect’. In fact I used this just last night with my son, who was over the moon and totally brimming with confidence as he excitedly told me how he thought he was going to fail his geography exam! He explained to me his thought process that he instantly thought no I am not concentrating properly so I am going to revise again. So as I was cooking downstairs he closed his room door and proceeded to revise and test himself alone 6 times and repeat the test until he hit the 10/10 score! Not only was I super proud of him but he was so ecstatic to see the effort and practice he put in pay off.
But for some reason as mothers we often are not graceful with ourselves in the same way. And in fact from the minute new life hits so does the overwhelm and the depreciation of confidence.
The Crushing of Confidence
Where you once could crush a day and get around doing all you needed to, now it has become a struggle to get the washing done, or cross over a handful of items on a fridge checklist.
And this is what leads to the crushing of confidence as in order to feel confident you need to take action and feel competent in that area - that is what creates confidence. But if you are continually failing to keep up with commitments you make to yourself, promises, never ending checklists, guess what sets in - Under-confidence!
‘How You Do One Thing is How You Do Everything’
One thing I know is that attributes do not show up in just one area of your life they will show up everywhere else too, they just may not be so obvious. So when a mother then goes to think about returning to work instead of commanding the position she truly wants she under sells herself and won’t apply for a role or promotion that she is 70=80% qualified for. Research has shown this to be 100% accurate. Whereas our male counterparts are happy to apply roles even if they are only 50% qualified. Crazy right?
In Pursuit of More Than Just A Job...
Not only this but most mums start feeling like they would like a career change or would like to explore the possibility of pursuing a self-employed career, launching a passion and purpose driven venture. But guess what doesn’t kick in that would allow them to successfully make it happen…Yep you know it... Confidence!
The Bottom Line
There are 5 Secret Weapons all mums need to deploy to ensure they are more successful however that would look for them.
...And success is relative… to one mum it could mean being effective in her corporate career whilst successfully balancing family life and to another it could be starting a profitable business fuelled by her passion so she can have more time at home with her children.
Whichever it is, when you utilise these 5 vital weapons, success on your terms will become a complete reality.
No more staring from the sidelines at other mothers doing what they love.
No more dredding your work day.
No more feeling defeated and not good enough for days on end.
No more putting your desires and dreams on the back burner.
No more wanting to crawl back into bed when the day begins
No more beckoning the weekend to hurry along because the work week drains you
No more energy zapping work
So here they are…
THE 5 Secret Weapons
Unleash Your Courage
You can not create a more fulfilling life when you are not expressing your true desires and not being bold in your everyday life. Holding back that which would propel you and inject your life with more vitality, fulfilment and success never benefitted anyone.
But when you deploy this secret weapon you get to embody who you are, you have a voice that is truthful and bold and you go after what you know you deserve without under selling yourself so you reach your potential and beyond.
Leverage The Chaos
If you continue to run around and be reactive to your days instead of pro-active and intentional you will forever feel like there is a funnel on top of your head with all of life's responsibilities, to do's and struggles which equals - OVERWHELM! And overwhelm leads to a further lack of confidence. But when you do leverage the chaos, you skyrocket your confidence in your ability to balance life, to cater to all your relationships well, to look after yourself well and to pursue work that ignites you.
Utilise The Energy Success Wheel
Without a clear cut minimalist system that gets to the root of your daily struggles, you will still chase your tail. ‘If you do what you have always done, you will get the results you always have.’ A famous quote and ever so true. If you don’t admit a change is needed and furthermore if you are resistant to that change then you will continue living out the overwhelmed life. To live out a confident, passionate and purposeful one where you are actually much more successful personally and professionally you need to eliminate old ways of doing things. Then you will truly create the career and family life you desire all whilst you become the highest version of yourself.
Step into Your Power
Operating with a weak mindset because you haven't adopted this unique shift will never give you an extraordinary energised or passionate life, you will be more likely to miss opportunities and view life from a skewed perspective. You never want to choose your lesser self which we all have within us. You want to get into the habit of operating from your highest self consistently so you can get teh absolute most out of your life. And what a powerful thing to role model to your children. Seeing their mum step put in power, purpose and confidence and making her own individual mark on the world and impression on her children.
Get Focused Help
Everyone who reaches any height does so with assistance but most mums try to do it alone and carry such a weight but it boils down to living in a scarcity mode which completely blocks any type of abundance flowing into their life. Once you know the coach or mentor you are thinking about hiring can provide the results you desire for your life, has got proven results and has credible qualifications go for it, what are you waiting for! I know for me, even being a coach myself has been was one of the best life decisions I have ever made. If you want to skip the learning journey, you want to see results fast in your life and you are ready to commit then just jump in. You will thoroughly enjoy it and benefit so greatly.
If you don’t decide to employ help, the thing to note is although the route to success is very simple it is not easy when done alone…
Let me tell you about my client Latoya who skyrocketed her life and results with the power of coaching:
Latoya is a mum of three children under three, but when we began working together she was heavily pregnant with her third and was suffering with extreme exhaustion, depression and anxiety and in need of a second income for her household.
She previously lived and worked in Hong Kong at a large church in a leadership capacity and moved to the UK pregnant with her second child. A year later she found herself pregnant with her third, and a recently launched business that was suffering due to her not being able to really manage her days, too exhausted to look after herself, or get through her to do list because she just couldn’t fathom the energy or the time to get herself out of the rut she found herself in.
After working together…
She was back on track with her purpose and passion
The deep root of her fears were lifted and her confidence was accelerated to the point she broke through her crippling fear of public speaking and successfully gave three talks at a public event.
But it didn’t just springboard her professionally she sky rocketed the relationship with her husband; inspiring him daily, learning new things together, re-igniting their marriage
She started walking completely in her purpose as a mother and a woman running two successful businesses that tripled her household income.
And she managed to leverage each moment with each of her two children all whilst running two passion based businesses from home
She was able to say good riddance to the stress, depression, mum guilt, overwhelm and exhaustion that had been taking over her life.
Here is what she had to say about working together:
‘When you've seen your life go from a 4 to an 8 (and it's still climbing) in overall productivity, passion, fruitfulness, and contentment you have to thank God for the blessing that made that all possible...after three weeks squashed some of my biggest goals and challenges. One being the 'fear of public speaking' - I was petrified it absolutely made my bones shake. Not only was I led through the process of facing the childhood root of where it came from, but uprooting that root and planting a new one. I had an overwhelming sense of freedom, that put me in a new mental sphere altogether. I had the passion and energy to want to soar into more of my challenges big and small and shape my life. Through Ri's Coaching I have been able to take my two businesses to new levels. I have been able to bring a very substantial second income in, which was my goal and pour my creativity out in the areas I love whilst growing my businesses in parallel. It's been a transformation... She helped me to elevate my business goals and achieve what I had set out for 6 months in 3 weeks and I am forever grateful. A mum of 2 under 2 and about to give birth in 4 weeks I am swept away that in this stage of life I could be the most productive I ever have been!! This has been one of the biggest blessings to shape my life and I could not thank you more Ri.’
How You Can Get Some Help Completely FREE...
If you want to know how to leverage each Secret Weapon and understand just how deeply they play a role in clearing the blocks holding you back and instead how you can adopt them into your own life today then watch my FREE Masterclass! I promise you, you will get plenty of nuggets to help you navigate working motherhood with the double the effectiveness.