How to Increase Your Confidence
Updated: Jul 19
Do any of these confidence issues sound familiar?
Imposter Syndrome has just heightened as your career has progressed?
Not feeling good enough even though you are highly accomplished?
Recurring limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns?
Not speaking up and contributing at work as much as you could?
If you resonate with any of these than you may or may not be aware the extent to which it is hindering your progress professionally and your fulfilment personally?
...Because most mothers are not sharing the extent to which they feel this crippling lack of confidence. It just starts showing up in the way she carries herself affecting both her professional life and personal life.
Working with many professional mum here are just some of the things I see a lack of confidence leads to:
A lack of productivity and organisation Poor time management Reduced leadership ability Low contribution in the workplace Micro- managing
The outbursts at the children
The lack of passion she has for life
A lack of desire for intimacy Bad eating habits; addictions to caffeine and sugar
Declining health Feeling miserable and having to mask it A loss of energy and instead total exhaustion
Why are some people more confident than others?
Firstly most people are conditioned to believe confidence is something some people are born with and this is simply not true. High Performance studies have shown that confidence is a skill, something that has to be learnt, practiced and mastered. Whenever you see someone you perceive to be more confident than you, I can assure you it is just that they have practiced said area for a greater length of time than a lesser confident person.
Have you lost your confidence as a mum?
For mums a loss of confidence starts to creep in once becoming a mother and the lack grows because mothers often lose their identities as women when they step into motherhood. There is a dominant focus around children and due to the demanding nature of children it can leave a lot of mothers not knowing how to build and elevate themselves whilst parenting. So they remain stagnant whilst raising a child but are in fast pace work environments which are constantly growing so mothers need the support to keep up on all fronts, mentally, emotionally and physically.
When they do not, confidence takes a dive as they do not feel up to par, particularly as their careers escalate. Mums can then feel a need to prove themselves more as they feel the pressure of being at a higher level. And despite having the skills, knowledge, experience, capability and masses of potential, I've had senior lawyers tell me they avoid situations to contribute meaningfully with their peers, directors stay silent in board meetings, scared to use their voice.
Effective ways to boost your confidence
I teach my clients a very smart and simple system to help them skyrocket their confidence and solve this very effectively which positively impacts every sphere of their life. But in this blog post I thought I would outline just 3 pointers for you to consider so you can start to eradicate some of the lack causing your confidence low.
Take an inventory of your life with the following confidence keys:
1. Competency Levels
If you keep on dreaming and pondering about all the things you do want, nothing will happen. Your desire and curiosity needs to be heightened enough to spark the interest for you to start making inspired steps towards it consistently. When you start doing this you uplevel your identity which makes you more confident and you build your courage muscle.
2. Congruency Levels
You can practice your faith, work on your emotions and mindset but if you then fail to take action aligned with exactly who you want to become and what you would like to achieve then you aren't going to see the results you like. You also aren't going to see your confidence skyrocket because you are breaking trust with yourself when you don't keep those commitments.
3. Connection Levels
If you only surround yourself with the same people that have got you to this stage of your life you will struggle to have the confidence to pursue your next level. Confidence really kicks in when you start to surround yourself with others on a similar journey to you or higher. When you do this you will begin a process of evolution and your ambition will be raised. Connection brings the challenge for you to be greater than you envisioned when you first started out.
5 things that are destroying your confidence
Comparison with other women
Focusing on your weaknesses
Not understanding the importance of your health
A broken life plan
If you can tick any of the above and you suffer with a lack of confidence, think about how best you could change this so you can experience more of what you do want in your life.
Check out this post here for more on the effect a broken life plan can have on your confidence.
Ri Justin CHPC is a Certified High Performance Coach and the Founder of Mums Ri-Wired. She is known as the ‘secret weapon’ for mums and takes professional and business mums from overwhelmed and frazzled to balanced, focus and thriving with her signature coaching program.