How to Zone into Your Full Potential
Updated: Mar 11, 2020
Zone into Your Full Potential as a Mum
Most mums I speak to say they want to achieve their full potential when I read their application forms and it begs the question why so many mums feel that they can’t?
What stops the ascension for many women who desire to thrive?
As a mother I am sure you can list a myriad of reasons as to why it feels impossible to really hit those goals and aspirations that maybe you have tucked away nicely for when the kids go off to university or college. But are the reasons you aren’t aiming for them right now really true? Are they 100% factual or stories you have forced yourself to believe over the years?
Because what I have found is that for most mums when they have to go out and do something outside of their comfort zone they tend to think about what disqualifies them instead of what qualifies them. It is almost a default setting and all those disqualifiers tend to provoke a lack of action around what they really want.
So are you yourself operating as a ‘Scared Sally’ or ‘Courageous Candy?’
So who are these two women? Well they are just avatars I have made up to name the two versions of women we all have living inside of us.
One allows us to step into our highest identity and the other stops us from doing just that
I like to call them Scared Sally and Courageous Candy and so you know which is which;
Courageous Candy shows us how to achieve our most desired goals whilst Scared Sally ensures we are just keeping afloat each day.
Do you know who you operate from the most?
Naturally most mums live from Scared Sally because after having children confidence is swallowed up as fast as breast milk!
And the result you live trying to tick off a never ending to do list, never completing everything you wanted to do each day, never having enough energy for your husband, never feeling present enough with your children, putting your career aspirations and dreams on the back burner.
And the list can go on right? But you probably did not associate it with operating from a lower version of yourself, you probably thought oh well this is motherhood. I can assure you that this is not true.
So what do you do if you want a different picture for your life;
A purpose driven career
Enjoyable and present with your children
Honeymoon intimacy back in your marriage
A more confident self
You have to make an affirmative decision to say yes to you and NO to the reactive nature you keep defaulting to.
When you decide to be Courageous Candy and operate from your highest identity it just requires a few simple steps:
Start eliminating what is not working unapologetically
Stop over thinking what you truly want
Create a strong game plan
Take action even if in small increments daily
Always choose abundance and NEVER scarcity
…And repeat daily making sure you do not revert
But if you do find yourself sounding and acting like Scared Sally just go right back to operating from Courageous Candy.
Maybe you are happy at home and work and comfortable, but maybe you need to stretch yourself so in 2 or 3 years from now you are proud and happy with where you are rather than stagnant because you made choices for the present instead of for the future.
THE TWO CHOICES A MUM HAS IN ORDER TO REACH HER POTENTIAL
We ultimately have two choices to make when we think about our lives and how we want to lead them. We can either use our stories and situation as a platform to grow, expand, lead and serve others or as an excuse to live within a box and stay comfortable but stagnant.
Which one are you choosing and why?
My point of writing today is that I want to encourage you to Zone in on what can still happen in your future, trusting your potential and not what didn't happen in the past.
Have you got a young new family but feel you can't take the plunge and go for your dream because you have to focus on raising children and building a home only?
Is a risk averse nature making you feel like you have to live a life of security rather than growth and fulfillment?
Are a lack of skills or experience making you feel inadequate for that dream job or confidence to start working on your business plan?
Have family members put you in a box that says you are qualified to do this one thing but don't think you possess the necessary to try something unknown?
Take all those things and look at yourself very closely....
What makes you qualified to go forward and chase your dreams with gumption?
FOCUS ON WHAT QUALIFIES YOU TO ACHIEVE YOUR AMBITIONS
Are you willing not to give up?
Do you possess a passionate and healthy obsession around your goal?
Can you muster resilience when needed?
Would you class yourself as a hard working woman?
Is discipline something you could embed into your daily life in pursuit of more?
Are you willing to consistently seek clarity?
Will you be prepared to do what is necessary to generate energy or yourself?
Are you ready to build up your courage muscle?
Is being more effective and mastering productivity able to become a priority for you?
Do you possess the skill to influence those around you?
Can you raise the necessity around the goals and dreams you wish to pursue to attain your full potential?
These are just some of the things that qualify you (and things any and everybody is capable of to go for that thing you think about last thing at night, the thing you wish you could do every morning, the thing you wish your days away for in hope you will do it in a few years and the reason a part of you is miserable because you aren't already chasing it and grabbing it with both hands.
Trust your potential and focus on your qualifiers. Don't let what you consider to be dis-qualifiers cloud your vision of what could be.
Don't Let Your Mind Get in The Way of Your Potential
Embody Mental Toughness
There is only really one thing that can disqualify you from any ambition you have and that is your choice to let your mind conquer you.
Mental toughness can be built with intention and effort. Just like a strong muscular exterior, your interior empire needs to be clad in armour to allow you as a mother to zone in to what qualifies you and achieve your full potential.
Top Pointers for Zoning in to Your Full Potential
How Can I Begin to Start Focusing on The Qualifiers?
Firstly you want to identify all those negative beliefs holding you back and start the process of ridding them from your mental dashboard.
How Can I Convince Myself Not to Hold on To My Dreams and Action Them Now?
You want to be very aware of the actual cost of not pursuing your real goals and ambitions. Because the true cost will include your happiness, time and future, all these things will deteriorate the more time you wait.
How Do I Know What My Full Potential Even is?
You don’t but without momentum and progress you will never feel fulfilled if you have a deep desire for more. Your potential is limitless. If you commit to life long development you will continue to achieve and enjoy a much more fulfillment than you ever felt possible.
What Should I do if my Family Won’t Support Me?
Not worry about them. It is not their job to worry and nurture your personal dreams and aspirations. You want to be selective with who you share your ambitions with in the beginning phase because negativity will most likely cause you to slow your pace. Being around like minded people or having just one or two people you can soundboard to or share your ideas with is enough. When your family see progress they will start to get behind you. Don’t make progress and every limiting thought they may have projected on you will continue to get thrown at you. It is out of love and protection for you that those closest often sometimes limit the growth of a mum but the truth is for a mother to operate at her best she needs to live in expansion.
CLIENT STORY - How Millie Achieved Her Potential
My client Millie who is a Magic Circle Lawyer came to desperate to add some zest into her professional life and change the trajectory of her career as she was working in a profession that she simply was not passionate about. As a mum of twins under 2 year and doing a daily commute to London she was also missing out on time with them and yearning to dive into her hearts desire to empower women with their own personal style to heighten the appearance and thus confidence.
But Millie had an extreme lack of confidence even though she was so accomplished and super smart. Over the years being in a male dominated environment she suffered from imposter syndrome as I am sure many of you can relate to, it is a very common case with high achieving women despite the fact they are high achieving. And her coping mechanisms were wine at the end of each day and shopping to alleviate her misery of the work she was undertaking. She also had a fear of sharing her dreams with her extended family for fear of judgement and a lack of understanding of what her heart really wanted to do with her life.
But after working together...
We were able to set out a plan for her to step into the highest version of herself at work and start being more vocal to eliminate that imposter syndrome and remind herself she was good enough to be there and her ideas and contributions were just as valuable as those around her. This then enabled her to step up in her personal aspirations and at home because how you do one thing is generally how you do everything. The affects will trickle down into other areas of your life and you won’t realise until the symptoms become very prominent and damaging to you either physically, mentally or emotionally.
We armed her with the tools to complete jump-start her at any point in the day when her mental focus and energy completely dropped at the office.
We structured her week so she could stop feeling guilty about rich self-care time and realise the lack of it was contributing to her stress and overwhelm.
And we completely shifted her mindset and skyrocketed her confidence so she was able to finally book the styling course she had been desperate to do and add the fun and passion back into her life so that she could balance out her demanding career, whilst raising young twins and allow her to lead a richer life full of much more vibrancy and vitality.
Millie has launched her styling business and is thriving now having the balance, confidence and mindset to achieve what she truly wanted from life.
Here is what Millie had to say about working together achieve her potential:
“I had the great fortune to be recommended to Ri - I’m so glad that we had such great sessions together, as it was the catalyst to me embarking on a new chapter in my life. Ri is incredibly personable, a great listener and generally lovely - she is without doubt passionate about what she does and is incredibly skilled in making you dig deep and really think about what your future holds. Ri filled me with great confidence, and the following day after our first session I booked a personal styling course, which I would never have had the nerve to do before. If you are at a bit of a crossroads in life and don’t know which way to turn, I couldn’t recommend Ri enough. She will empower you to follow your heart.”
If you want a bit of help in achieving your potential but you have been feeling overwhelmed and a lack of energy then check out this post here to get you started:
Ri Justin CHPC, is a Certified High Performance Coach and the Founder of Mums Ri-Wired. She is known as the ‘secret weapon’ for mums and takes professional and business mums from overwhelmed and frazzled to balanced, focus and thriving with her signature coaching program.