How Your Feelings Are Hindering You
Updated: Jul 19
The Root of the Feeling of Overwhelm
Something that a lot of mothers struggle with is the feeling deep down that they do not really matter enough. Being a mother can be a thankless task and sometimes the only real fruit you can see of whether you did a good job or not is when your children turn into adults. But that does not help with the day to day living right?
It does not help you feel good when the house is a mess, when you can’t keep on top of the laundry, when school PE kits go missing, when homework hasn't been completed and when you haven't managed to keep up with nutritious meals or the elimination of screen time. All of this can equate to an enormous amount of overwhelm and an energy zapping experience in the life of a mother.
Have you found yourself in this scenario? If so you are not alone even when it feels like you are.
As although these things happen in all children filled house holds it does not take away from the fact at some point some where, there is a mother and it could be you at this very moment feeling like she does not matter enough and all she is, is someone's something. Whether that is a little person’s snack lady, cleaner, cook or wife and the only place she comes in as just herself as an individual in her own right is right at the bottom of the rest of those roles.
Mums You Matter Much More Than You Are Led to Believe on a Daily Basis.
And I really wanted to pop in today and remind you that if you are having one of those days where you can not see the fog from the clouds that You do Matter and you matter so much more than you may be feeling. Never give in to the notion that you are invisible or not noticed. What you hold on to in your mind will affect you negatively or positively depending on what you feed it the most. And whatever is fed will produce the feelings you have which in turn will dictate your behaviour.
You just need the key to combat the inner dialogue running your emotions…
As the truth is you are not going to get anywhere near where you want to or be and be seen as who you want to if you let those feelings run your life instead of you being in control of them. (And mothers can have a lot of emotions and feelings bubbling up.)
I want to ask you to let go of those feelings that do not serve you. This will reduce the overwhelm and the struggle ten fold. Clinging on to feelings that do not serve you will only ever prohibit you.
What You Truly Deserve as a Mother
You deserve to only feed yourself that which will nourish you no matter what. And this is not selfish it is a necessity because without your emotional well being which is important enough on its own, but you can't cultivate anybody else's such as your childrens if you do not.
Not only that, but feelings are really not your loyal best friends, no matter how comforting they may feel in the midst of a pity party, they actually can perpetuate the overwhelm much more than we realise…
Your feelings lie
Your feelings will keep you stuck
Your feelings will convince you things can't change anytime soon
Your feelings will allow you to make poor decisions today and not see the repercussions tomorrow
Your feelings often do not have your best interest at heart
Your feelings do not consider the bigger picture
And what is the bigger picture?
The fact you can change the narrative of your life at any point.
The fact it is your God given right to enjoy a peaceful, joyous, prosperous, fulfilled life.
The fact you have been blessed with a passionate gift that will allow you to access all of the above.
The fact you have do not have to do a thing in this world alone and there is support available.
But there is a caveat, like most things in life except this one is simple…
You will only experience in life what you feel and believe on the inside; If you believe you deserve the bigger picture that is exactly what you will get. Your life is quite simply like a mirror whatever is happening on the outside is a direct reflection of what is going on for you internally.
How Your Work and Career May Be Getting Affected...
Because in the same light whatever is happening in your professional life is a direct reflection of what is going on in your personal life. Whenever I take on a client there is no exponential growth and success without working on this. At the root of any outward circumstance lies an internal situation that has not been resolved.
What Many Mothers Fail to Do Effectively Which Contributes to Overwhelm
So many mothers are not examining their lives deep enough in this way, identifying in their life and internally what exactly is not working and what is. But when you do this it is truly a game changer, because nothing is permanent or fixed, everything can be changed, optimised, or eradicated.
If you haven't been believing in the bigger picture for yourself and your life, start asking yourself why not, what block is holding you back? You are soon going to realise, once you sit in it long enough that there are reasons and stories you have told yourself that are preventing you from actualising in your life that which you truly desire and hold important.
Your Feelings are The Enemy
The truth is none of the never ending to do lists are your biggest enemy, someone much closer to home is and once those feelings are out of the way and no longer running your life you can manifest what would actually make your life the passionate and enjoyable existence you currently dream of as a mere fantasy.
Let’s take a look at what some scientific researchers have to say…
Joe Dispenza is an international lecturer and researcher, whose work I love and has a postgraduate education in neurology, neuroscience, brain function and chemistry, cellular biology, memory formation, and aging and longevity and he says
“ In a normal day, as we respond to familiar people, as we encounter common things in known places at predictable times, and as we experience recurring conditions in our personal world, we will more than likely think and behave in automatic memorized ways. To change, then, is to think and act greater than our present circumstances. It is to think greater than our environment.”
You might want to check out the full article here which is a great read - https://drjoedispenza.net/blog/can-you-change-your-brain-by-thinking-differently/
Client Case Study
When my client Cecile came to me she was struggling to successfully propel her new business, amongst selling her home as well as taking care of it, looking after her two young girls and being a loving wife.
She had so much on her plate and she added so much pressure on to herself to achieve in her business so that she felt accomplished and her hard work to date was not in vain. But she was struggling to pull off all the roles she had to play together.
What she needed was a clear cut system to eradicate the overwhelm contributing to a very emotional experience and the verge of a breakdown with so much to juggle. And although Cecile had plenty of strategy, there were things stopping her from succeeding in the way she wanted and after working together:
She completely rewired the way she thought about and navigated through life enabling her to get some astounding results personally and professionally
She up-levelled her energy and in doing so she got into great health and lost weight and was able to eradicate the back pain that had been debilitating her.
She secured her first few clients, secured the first high profile partnerships for her business,
Has become a Linkedin expert servicing multiple businesses to growth and scale using the platform she loves and has built her company around.
And she did this all whilst completely improving the dynamic of her household and family life from strained and overwhelming to meaningful, highly enjoyable and full of vibrancy.
Here is what she had to say:
"Working with Ri, through her high-performance training, has had such a big and positive impact on myself, my business and our family life. I can’t thank her enough! Starting off from a point of exhaustion and lack of focus, Ri was able to guide me to places I never thought I’d get to. Her genuine compassion, professional knowledge and super effective strategies are literally priceless. Is the process uncomfortable? Yes, at times it is, indeed - but nothing great has ever come out of comfort zones they say - and I can certainly sign this now. It was lots of fun too, though! I wholeheartedly and highly recommend Ri’s program to any juggling business mum out there!"
As you can see when you truly know how to step into your power that we all have as mothers you are able to manifest some incredible transformations in your life.
5 Quick Fire Keys To Prevent Feelings From Hindering You
1) Do not believe you are alone in the midst of overwhelm
2) Get rid of all those feelings that do not serve you.
3) Remind yourself that you matter daily
4) Keep what you truly deserve as a mother on your mental dashboard
5) Examine your life and realise that the identification of what is not working is absolutely crucial
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Why is it so hard to change?
Because we have been programmed from a young age with certain beliefs and until you uninstall these beliefs and stories that have consumed and made up who you are today, it will be nearly impossible to change your outward circumstances.
What can I do as a Mother straight away to stop my feelings from hindering me?
Step into your power as a mother. You have a uniqueness, you have strength and you have the ability to change. Make the decision to step into your power and take action like you would as if you are operating from the highest version of yourself.
Does Overwhelm ever really truly go away?
Yes when you figure out that the thing causing overwhelm isn’t your lack of time or to do list but it is the broken plan that exists within your life.
...So if you agree with some of the points raised here today but maybe they make you feel uncomfortable or even a little scared at the prospect of change , know again you are not alone and that this is normal. In order to grow we have to surpass the discomfort that naturally accompanies it and once we do we benefit from the fruit on the other side.
Disclaimer* I am not saying that changing your feelings will completely overhaul every area of your life, there are many other elements that will go into creating the energy, success and fulfillment you may be searching for as a busy professional or entrepreneurial mother but it is absolutely one of the keys when done right.
Do you want to join a community of mums supporting each other to the next level come and join us right here at The Energised Mum Free Facebook Group. You can expect live shows, trainings and insights weekly to help navigate a career and/or motherhood whilst defining what true fulfilment and success on your own terms as a mum looks like.
Ri Justin, CHPC is a Certified High Performance Coach and the Founder of Mums Ri-Wired. Known as the ‘secret weapon’ for mums she takes professional and business mums from overwhelmed and frazzled to balanced, focused and thriving with her signature coaching programs.