I'm Scared I'm Going to Screw Up My Children
Updated: Jul 19, 2021
The Dredded Thought Mums Have Affecting Their Sense of Self-Worth...
‘I’m scared I’m going to screw up my children’ was the devastating comment I read on my timeline and it got me thinking about the amount of parents that have this same worry circling deep down even if they do not admit it. I think the truth is that most parents have this thought.
But do you know what I loved reading it at the same time, because I found it served as a jolt. And when I say ‘a jolt’ I mean in the sense that it served as a reminder of how much we as parents, as mothers shape our children.
A Mother’s Conscious Language
We hear so much that conscious language is self-prophesy and what we think we manifest. So what does that mean? If we think we are going to screw up we probably will because we will end up focusing on so much of what we don’t want that our energy will flow there and not in the places that could make us what we would consider to be great mothers. (this is relative by the way for everyone, there is no perfection or one size fits all)! But I am sure many of you have a defined standard of what a great mother is even if you haven’t written it out, or recite it to yourself everyday. You probably have a friend or neighbour or possibly a celebrity who you believe to be better than you, crushing life and motherhood in your opinion, raising her children in a more conscious way, feeding her children more balanced meals, allowing much less screen time and of course doesn’t nag and is much less shoutier! The list could probably go on.
“Where your focus goes, your energy will also flow” Tony Robbins
But we don’t want to go down that route at all. This is not the area you want to expend your energy. No energy is needed to be spent in this thought pattern at all because a negative self-fulfilling prophecy happens just by not modelling the right mindset. Not because we are not able and competent parents. Children will always model what they see before they model what they are told. And what they see are behaviours and our behaviours are largely driven by our thoughts and also emotions and guess what affects our emotions; you've got it our thoughts. So you can see where this is going.
How I Think About A Mum's Self-Worth, Imperfection and Strength
My clients often think I have it all together, and want to know how I pull it off with four children single handedly. But I am the same as every other mother; imperfect. And there is nothing wrong with a lack of perfection.
The way I like to look at life is that I am discovering new strengths, capabilities everyday but along with that comes the discovery of new weaknesses. However, weaknesses I enjoy and honour the process of conquering. This is something I thrive and i’m passionate about because this is where growth happens.
Know Your Worth Mum Because You Are Enough
So mums my message to you today is really that next time you think to mentally criticise yourself by worrying about messing up your children take a look at your own personal journey and how much you have learnt and the invaluable wisdom accumulated that you can share with your children and I can assure you these little pieces of gold will shatter the thought of screwing them up almost instantly.
Here are some of my golden nuggets I am and will continue to share with my four children:
Make sure you live with faith and gratitude at the forefront of your life.
Do not steer for what is magnetic in life, steer for what is true and authentically you.
Always love openly, give generously and serve proudly.
Focus on building and maintaining your relationships.
Do not underestimate the value of honing your communication skills. Do it.
Master sales and self diligently; personal development will never go out of style.
Strive to be a conscious individual; health wise, socially and environmentally.
Network and learn to be comfortable in rooms where you are not the smartest, because that is where the magic will happen.
Always know that there is a strong correlation between discomfort during periods of growth and the journey of the so called overnight success.
Carry the wise words of Robin Sharma for each facet of your life; 'change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle but beautiful at the end'.
How You Can Upkeep Your Self-Worth With Your Wisdom…
Step into Your Power
This is a crucial mindset shift that you need to make to completely know and walk with high levels of self-worth. When you do this, you are able to conquer mountains that just seemed insurmountable previously. Did you know that as many as over 90% of working mums need to find coping mechanisms to handle work and motherhood. And only a small number, just under 10% are able to cope with the day to day.
The problem is that they are not utilising their unique super powers that we all have as mothers. When you don’t make this shift chances are you will be operating with a very weak mindset that will not support you or the life you want to create.
Instead you will find yourself riddled with reasons why you can’t pursue a more purposeful and passionate life and career, feeling very hard done by at the fact you have children and they take up a significant amount of your time. Also you will most likely operate with a pessimistic view on the world and not able to see opportunities to ignite your passion even when it is right under your nose. Not to mention the exhaustion with the day to day and anxiety prone due to a lack of clarity around your daily direction.
The truth is you can’t have a weak mindset and expect nor sustain amazing results in your life. However once you adopt this very distinct mindset shift to Step into Your Power it will allow you to reinvigorate and propel your life, means you will experience;