The 7 Patterns Successful Mums Are Breaking in 2020!
Updated: Jul 19
Happy New Year and Happy New Decade!
I hope you have had a chance to enjoy this holiday season, rejuvenate and spend quality time with your loved ones. I had a beautiful holiday in Barcelona with the family and am now looking forward to the year ahead of us.
My prayer for you is that your visions, dreams and goals start to come into fruition if they have not already and if they have I pray they flourish and you thrive this year.
I spent New Years Eve reflecting, journalling, planning, meditating and setting myself up for major achievement this year. I have made a commitment to myself to show up for my self as well as my clients and audience bigger and better than previously. I am dedicated to doubling the amount of contribution and value I offer and aim to help a lot more mothers totally transform their energy and successfully balance their passion driven ventures with everyday life.
What about you?
When you look back on 2019 and even the last decade what do you see and how do you feel about it? What word would you use to describe the journey you have been on and what word would you like to embody for this upcoming year and even decade?
Are you happy with the woman and mum you were this year or do you want to do more or become something more or even completely different?
If it is the latter maybe you want to consider shedding some patterns and habits that are no longer serving you; here are some of the major ones I have seen my clients break last year who are mums just like you.
I myself have practiced and use all the tools I teach in a big big way this year. We are all human but there is a marked difference between those that stay stuck and those that elevate themselves despite circumstances. Life is full of ups and downs and difficulties that hit right when things are going amazingly, but your ability to make the right decisions in those moments is what sets you apart and prevents you from crumbling. This is a practice and one I often get to see is not practised commonly because we do not get given this intel in school and it doesn't exist in an encyclopedia, you have to seek out the expertise and be committed to the process.
So let’s jump in so you can make sure your 2020 does not look the same as your 2019!
...Because let's face it if you don't envision different outcomes for this year and all the ones to follow, the likelihood is, by the end of this next decade you will just be older but nothing much would have changed. That isn't my wish for you or anyone. Nobody wants to get to 70 and wish they had strived for more, became more, experienced more, lived more or loved more. But the truth is unless we become intentional and vitally aware lots of people get to 70 and face the pain of regret.
So here it goes...
The Patterns Mums Need to Ditch in 2020 to Secure Their Success..
Pattern Number 1:
Most mums are repeating day in and day out and stopping their own evolution which they truly need to embrace in order to fill their life with the spark and passion they desire.
If you can not get off the hamster wheel of your life, then you need support and help to do it more quickly rather than later. Every day you stay repeating is one less day you can evolve into who you truly want to be.
Pattern Number 2:
Most mums are racked with fear, that if they make any significant change that it will cause too much disruption to family life.
But have you asked yourself if that is specifically true or is that a story you have been telling yourself to keep yourself stuck. If you were to break down what you want to do into chunk size tasks, activities/ goals and reverse engineer your desired life, is it really too much of a change? Or is it maybe you just don't know how to go about it and you haven't figured out that there are people that can efficiently work out a blueprint just for you?
Pattern Number 3:
Most mums live with little to no confidence and expect to see different results in their life. Without confidence, significant success in any area of your life is impossible.
But there is a confidence formula which entails you to step out in courage and do the thing you are under confident in order to gain competence and once you gain competence guess what you gain confidence, that is the key.
Pattern Number 4:
Most mums have put themselves in the perfectionist prison. They have told themselves and believed the great lie that all their ducks need to be in a row, and that they need to be at a perfect time, and place to make a move in their life . The truth is perfect, perfection, perfectionism is just fear wrapped up and swaddled like a sweet newborn baby when in actual fact it will destroy your ideals and true vision for your life.
Once you unwrap that blanket you will see a deep layer of insecurity and fear that are wildly untrue and that need to be ripped out like weeds so you can start planting new seeds towards the life you do really want.
Pattern Number 5:
Poor and non-existent planning - the one I see all too often. 'I don’t have enough time, there aren’t enough hours in the day, I am exhausted, I can't keep on top of my to do list, I can't fit everything in.' Sound familiar? Probably because these are the words uttered from most mothers lips.
The truth is the overwhelm, exhaustion, lack of energy and lack of perceived time is all down to the lack of a good plan in their life. Get your life plan in order and watch the words that escape your mouth day to day completely change.
Pattern Number 6:
Consumption - One all mothers get distracted by but are oblivious to the distracting and self-defeating effect it can have, and by 'it' I mean social media. Social media can be used for plenty of good but when it isn't controlled and rather it is used in excess, guess what it doesn't produce any great results in terms of productivity, feelings or inspiration for mothers, it does the complete opposite.
No mum wants to feel unproductive, low in mood, comparing herself to every other mother or lacking inspiration because of self-defeat, so decide what it is healthy for you and say a big fat 'No' to that which isn't. Unfollow, block, delete and minimise in all areas needed so you can keep your emotional well-being in check whilst consuming in moderation.
Pattern Number 7:
Taking personal offense when someone does something to hurt you. This relational pattern is something very common that can have mothers in a tizz amongst all the other myriad of duties she is juggling and really she could do without. If you haven’t already heard the saying 'hurt people hurt people' - well it is very true. So if you have been offended and hurt multiple times this year by someone or several people and maybe it has derailed you, caused anger, bitterness, a lack of forgiveness, resentment, you have to realise that it has caused you ten times more harm deciding to be offended rather than just accepting the offense and moving on.
The truth is everyone is on their own journey and from the moment someone hurts or offends you at the crux of it lies their lack of maturity in that specific area and actually an issue they have within more than anything to do with you. Harbouring any sort of ill feeling towards anyone, will ruin days, weeks and months and sometimes years which will never benefit you or add to your life, rather it takes away your joy, happiness, confidence, trust, time and energy. A wise man once said choosing not to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.
And in the same light if something hurtful does really land on you and you can;t shake it that easily, simply ask yourself why, and keep asking it until you receive an answer that makes sense. Chances are you are not hurt by what was said or done but by the meaning you are assigning to it and what you feel about yourself because of it. Having this self awareness and emotional intelligence will help you to process it and act in your highest self.
I hope that if any of these patterns resonate with you, you choose to absolutely eradicate them from your life, whether you can do it all at once or more likely over time. But the important thing is to recognise them, and take the process to change it. Breaking these will help in forming a firm foundation for you this year as you strive to become a higher version of yourself in life, work and business.
Wishing you and your loved ones a blessed 2020. Expect the best for yourself this year so that you can manifest the life you truly desire for you and family.